"I felt a funeral, in my brain..." That's how author, Andrew Solomon begins his TED talk: Depression, the secret we share. He is quoting the poignant first line of a poem by Emily Dickinson about the loss of self; depression. According to the World Health Organisation, depression affects more than 350 million people globally and is the leading contributor to disease. In September of 2014, my brother, Jolly passed away unexpectedly. Nothing prepared me for the unrelenting grief. There were times when I was so low I dreaded getting out of bed. There are many reasons why people suffer depression...The main thing to remember is that it's all part of being human. The shocking news of Robin Williams's suicide, followed recently by 24 year old Christopher James Hardman (Lil' Chris), was deeply moving. Not just because it reminded me of my brother; but because they were both exceptional talents. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. No matter how bad you feel about life; remember, nothing stays in any state forever. Having known numerous people battling depression, what I've learned is that it's all a matter of mental perception. The best way to change that, is to engage in behaviour which allows you to create a different vantage point.
These are things I have found to be particularly useful:
Love yourself in order to give love.
It's difficult to give love when you feel unlovable. You, succeeded out of three hundred million sperm to be here. To say you are unique is an understatement!
Be more objective and less judgemental.
Not everyone looks at life through your lens. Forgive people and expect less. Everyone is looking for the same things you are looking for: meaning and love in life.
Laugh and exercise.
Laughter is the best medicine. That's not a trite observation; lots of scientific studies have proven laughter boots your immune system and health. Same for exercise.
Find meaning, a belief, a passion; something to live for.
Victor Frankl, a Holocaust-survivor and psychiatrist said, "Those who have a "why" to live, can bear with almost any "how".
Remember, time is for you not against you.
Emotional pain reduces with time. This is a perennial truth and wisdom among all cultures on earth.
For more help, there are lots of people in similar circumstances as you, so please talk and share your pain with someone.
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